Two

Day two always feels like a big deal, especially if it’s two in a row.

There’s a rush of euphoria, and a sense of accomplishment as your mind tells you that you’ve done it, you’ve woken up at the same time twice in a row now, you are enlightened, you are accomplished, you are consistent, now you can rest. All the planning and motivational pep talks in history will not prevent this from happening. You have been hard wired, over years of practice, to neglect your passion, your drive, your inspired vision, in favour of a few more minutes in the sack, and there is nothing more dangerous to you than your sense of entitlement to rest and leisure that you don’t need.

So here’s the new plan; when the alarm goes off in the morning, open your eyes, spend a minute or two wondering what your dreams were about, or why you didn’t have any, then get up before the snooze catches you. The reason you are able to do this day after day is because you are taking care of yourself by going to bed at an appropriate time and getting adequate sleep. When that alarm goes off at 6 am, unless something dramatic has happened that kept you up all night, you have had enough rest. You can rise and get on with your day. You’ll be fine. Remember what you are getting up for. Remember that you have a direction, that you have goals to attain, commitments to yourself to fulfill. You asked for this, you want to do this with all of your being because you have been hanging out of the other side of this scenario, the one where you snooze for an hour and put off, over and over, the walk. You put off walking the walk for so long that you couldn’t even talk the talk anymore, and you ran out of things to say.

You don’t want that. You want to get up and write trash. You want to get up and write stuff that isn’t worth a damn to anyone but you. You want to talk smack to yourself. You want to congratulate yourself for the meager success of doing something positive twice in a row because that is a clear message to yourself that you fucking matter, and that you are worth your own time.

You need to take life seriously and live on purpose because you’re important. Enough of this sad indifference towards your life. Grab your balls, drop the ego, and DO shit. Confront the fear of not really knowing what you are doing. Discard your ignorance and pursure knowledge. You don’t know everything, and you can’t figure everything out. Ask for help from people that you trust to be straight with you. Don’t talk to people who blow smoke up your ass, that is not what you need. Who you need are people that will not let you off easy. You need people that have heard you, who understand who you are and what you want, and will put effort into not allowing you to let yourself down. You need people that you can show your dreams to, and, whether they understand them or not, will support you in pursuing them. Keep in mind that support is not just being ok with whatever you want to do at the time; structurally, a post defies gravity itself in order to support the floor and the roof above it. Support will defy your nature, your habits, your conditioning, in order for you to build yourself into what you have envisioned.

If you don’t have a vision for yourself, that is a major problem. Find one, create one. Make yourself coherent with your goals. Your identity must support your direction. There’s no point walking a path that is heading in the wrong direction.

Don’t be pointless.