Denizen
I always forget that I could just call.
I prefer to text, but I think I don’t dislike most phone calls as much as I have come to believe I do. I just don’t make very many calls except for making appointments, dealing with work stuff, or talking to a corporate employee. I guess my aversion to talking on the phone makes a lot of sense when you look at it that way. Not that I mind making appointments; I actually kind of like making appointments, it gives me a chance to use manners on a complete stranger, and that’s often a good time.
I find that if you start your interview with a receptionist focused on a pleasant yet efficient exposition of your desire you’ll get the best possible result even if it’s not exactly what you were after. Because it is an interview. You’re talking to a gatekeeper, and you want to get through, so at the very least, you should have a positive outcome in mind when you start the conversation so you don’t get hung up on, or worse, put on hold.
Most receptionists are nice if you give them the chance. I never ask them how they’re doing though, because it’s irrelevant and I really don’t care, and it bothers me when they do it because it’s irrelevant and THEY really don’t care either; it’s just unpleasant pleasantries for me.
I think it’s a good idea to incorporate a certain amount of professionalism in one’s daily, simply because it really tends to move things along in the right direction. My definition of professionalism is remembering what you intend to do, and doing that. For example, sometimes when I go for a coffee, I just go for a coffee, and only the necessary interactions are provided for because I didn’t come to visit and can’t really be made to. I don’t mean to be rude, not usually, I just want to leave because I have better things to do, or, at least, things that I think are better to do.
If you tell someone that you have to go because you’ve got to get back to work, they will understand, sympathize, maybe even applaud you for it, but if you tell someone that you can’t talk because a) you don’t want to, or, b) have rocks to go throw at other rocks, or a wall or ceiling to stare at while you practice graphic thinking, or take a really long walk on a short beach because your brain is full of B-roll that you need to screen, they might take offence, but part of being professional about things is not really caring about that, because doing what is best for you is what’s best for you.
You really have to go do that thing, though, or at least it’s more beneficial if you do. I have, uncounted times, told someone that I didn’t want to talk to some bullshit excuse -which means lie- just to get away from them without the risk of stoking their ire against me, but I don’t like doing that if I don’t have to. I always thought it was such a bad thing when someone was upset with me, but it’s not, not if I didn’t do anything wrong, like lie, and I feel better about the occasional hurt look than I ever did about failing to please everybody at my own expense.
Life is way better when you’re not thinking about other people all the time. I’ve found myself to be much happier since I began concentrating on advocating for MY self in my relationship with the world and its denizens.
There is so much literature concerning the vitality of being healthy before entering an intimate relationship, but what about all the other relationships? What about anger management before you get a dog, what about learning to finish a project, or proficiency at a hobby that isn’t finding more hobbies, what about being healthy, or sober, before you go to work? Can you actually do what you want to do, or are you just pretending, and as a result, being unprofessional?
This is how I have to explain things to myself sometimes:
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What do you want to do, Jonathan?
I want to live.
That’s a good idea. Do you think that you could do some research and find out how to get better at it, possibly add a few frills?
I thought I was the one with the good ideas.
You are, you’re very clever, now pay attention.
..............To what?
Don’t be intentionally dense. Everything. There are effective and ineffective ways to do things. You’re good at work, and bad at life, and now you can’t work the way you used to, so become a professional at living. Find out what your best looks like.
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To this point I have no idea, but I’m certainly enjoying better, and I believe that if I keep that up, the best is inevitable. If some feathers get ruffled along the way, that’s OK. In my experience, it’s better by far, for everyone in my life, if I take good care of myself.
See you out there.
