Groove

I’m glad it’s still raining. I get to stay inside where all my shit to do is. I have lots to do outside as well, fun stuff too, but what I NEED to do is inside. I don’t mind so much. I get to live in a really nice house with a really nice lady, and we’re starting to do stuff for our second year in a row, so that’s not nothing, not at all.

I was thinking the other day about new experiences, and whether I like them or not. Obviously it depends on the experience, but I’ve always maintained that there are no bad experiences, just bad reactions to whatever you may be enjoying or enduring. It’s quite stoic, as it turns out, but I started on that particular maintenance a very long time before I heard of the stoics, so I’m happy that it checks out in the long run, or plod, as it sometimes is.

I was ruminating out loud to Hez that I thought some people stop having new experiences after a certain point in their lives. I said it like it was a bad thing, awful, in fact, and to be completely avoided, and I suppose that it would be to a degree when it’s taken as given that every day, or moment is a new experience, but I was talking more along the lines of living a repetitive life, that beats like the heart, over and over again, or ebbs and flows to a rhythm too slow for our manic minds to truly appreciate, and, well, it doesn’t sound that bad after all.

I spend the first two weeks of every six months forgetting what day it is, and several other important things at a time. Every day. It’s because my schedule changes each school term. After the two weeks of discombobulation, I get into the groove until the last two weeks where I’m putting in a lot of extra time finishing up all the projects, then I get a week off entirely, then I get the next new schedule and do it again. I’m not complaining, not really, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed by new experiences at the moment, and everything seems really complicated and dense, and I’m interacting with a lot more people than I usually do, and in a different way, and I’m doing very well in school, but I often still feel like a complete noob, though I’m nothing of the sort.

I’m still off my writing and posting schedule, and I think that bothers me more than anything since I really like doing that, and it helps me a lot, but I don’t feel like I have the time nor the capacity to delve into anything too deep three times a week, so you’re just going to have to listen to me muse, and ravel, and unravel for a while.

I’m not sorry.