Necrophagist
So I was lying in shavasana earlier when I started thinking about Necrophagist, and then I got kind of hungry, and then I thought about how much I like knowing a little bit of Latin. I’m not sure if that sound weird or not, but I assure that it isn’t weird at all. In fact, I enjoyed the little ride. It all makes perfect sense to me.
It started when Hez, who was leading the class, skipped a couple of tracks to find the one that we usually end class with. I’m not familiar with the songs, so it would take me a lot longer to discern what track was playing than it takes her. Some of them start with a single note or tone that goes on for quite a while before it changes and starts building the song, and it made me think about how many notes, tones, and beats Necrophagist would have played in that time, and what it would do to everyone else’s calm, corpse pose repose.
If Necrophagist ever came on at yoga it would be funny, but then I would feel the need to apologize for the death metal because I know it isn’t for everybody because it sounds scary, and it’s hard to lead people to understand why I find it relaxing, especially if it’s still playing at 168 beats per minute.
So Necrophagist means corpse eater, which is why it was kind of funny, me being in shavasana and all, and I laughed in my brain about yet another death metal band and their scaaaary names, but I also thought about the fact that most people are corpse eaters. You’re almost certainly a corpse eater, in fact. It doesn’t have to be a body, actually, necro just means dead, so even if you’re a vegan, you’re still a necrophagist, at least that’s what I’m going to tell the next vegan that just can’t help themselves and has to tell me about it.
That’s comforting in a way; it’s nice to be a part of a community, and necrophagism has really gotten a bad rap, and it doesn’t deserve it, not like those sick fucks that eat live Octopuses. Seriously, what do you have to do to your brain to pay lots of money to stuff a live sentient into your mouth and chew it to death? That’s some demented animal kingdom savagery bullshit. Disgusting. I spent a few moments thinking about how much trouble I might get myself into if I went to Korea, then I thought..
Come to think of it, I do eat raw oysters from time to time, but it’s not the same thing. Oysters can’t solve puzzles. I hesitate to call them a lower life form because that’s not very nice, but seriously, Oysters are dumb. When I do eat Oysters I do give them a quick death by chewing them a bit. I don’t think it’s cool to just slurp them down, alive, into your stomach acid because they probably live for a while down there, wondering what the fuck just happened from shell to hell as they’re being dissolved.
It’s like the Almighty Sarlacc in the Great Pit of Carkoon from Return of the Jedi. Apparently, if you fall in there you will discover a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.....Wait a minute! Humans don’t live a thousand years! I knew that even way back in 1983. Almighty, my ass.
Some things about Star Wars just don’t make sense. I like the architecture, though, very Brutalist.
It’s a good thing I do yoga-ing.
Who knows what would happen if I couldn’t still my mind.
