Physics

There’s a danger to not raising your kids in front of a television; they engage in deep learning.

 That often means that they are out trying stuff until someone gets hurt bad enough to run home for first aid unless the streetlights come on first.

One good thing about old clearcuts or new-ish second growth, is all the Salal. The berries aren’t very good, they’re all leathery and bristly, and best left for the bears who’s tunnel-trails we would follow as we explored the otherwise near impassable scrub looking for a good stump. A good stump can be many things; if it’s hollowed out underneath, the clawed hand of roots could hold a claimable fort that hopefully isn’t already a bear wallow, if it’s climbable, it’s for climbing, if it’s aged enough there might be Cynamoka or Huckleberry bushes on it, and those berries are always worth the climb, and, if the top is clear, it is a tower, and if you’re lucky, a launch platform.

 We didn’t have a swing set when we were kids, we had ropes and trees, and occasionally tires. There was always scouting going on for a good branch with a clear space underneath for the swing, and something to jump from. There’s a goldilocks zone for tarzan swings; if the branch is too high, we didn’t have enough rope, if the branch is too low, we probably had too much rope and a boring swing, if the launch pad was too close you would either come back and hit it, or you just wouldn’t get enough sweep, and if the launch pad was too far, and you couldn’t pull yourself up the rope enough after you jump, you’d end up as a bruised heap on the post(and pre)-forest floor hidden under the light Salal. We learned that the sooner you hit the better, before you get into the arc of the swing and gain too much momentum and either hit very hard, or couldn’t keep your grip on the rope and hit very hard.

 Some of our adventures weren’t very well thought through, but, as has been proven time and time again, while failing at one endeavor, you are likely to open up fascinating new opportunities for adventure. It turns out that jumping off a log and crashing into Salal is only bad if you’re trying to test out a new swing; it’s all about perspective.

 We decided that we had enough swings, and began scouting for good Salal jumping spots instead. Fresh from unwelcome introductions to the forest floor, and the impressions we made there, it was universally accepted that certain criteria had to be met for a spot to be awesome for Salal jumping. These criteria were, and still are: a tall and dense pocket of Salal, no hidden pokey sticks underneath(that’s a big one), and a launch pad, be it a stump or a log, that was high enough to be a bit scary. You’ve got to land flat, too; don’t land feet first because you’ll just stab all the way through to the bottom and then be trapped by all the still upright Salal and it’ll be a real challenge to get out before someone else jumps. You’ve got to land flat, preferably on your back, that way you stay on top of the brush, and you can roll off into the short stuff to get back on your feet. Also, keep your eyes closed as hard as you can. You only get a few jumps as the Salal gets all flattened out after, and then you’ll have to find a new spot. It doesn’t break the bushes, they pretty much straighten up again after a few weeks, but you can never jump in them again, that’s not how it works.

 You shouldn’t do this as an adult. You’re too heavy. Trust me on this one.

Tackle hedges instead.